Watering a Neighbor's Garden

My name is Josiane. I'm 21, Congolese, a woman—and a law student. But before I was any of those things, I was just a girl. And where I come from, being "just a girl" can feel like a lifetime sentence.

I grew up in a household where you had to prove your worth. Not just once—but every single day. I remember standing by the fire as a child, hearing my mother say something that would echo in my head for years:

"Educating a girl is like watering a neighbor's garden."

It broke me. Not because it was her voice, but because it was so normal. Words like that float through homes, churches, and schools every day—heavy words that settle into the hearts of girls, convincing them they're not worth the investment. And some of us believe it. I almost did. But here's the thing: I refused to let that be my whole story.

When I became head girl in Grade 11, I made a vow to myself: I wanted to be the first head girl with six points—something no one in my school had done before. I worked in silence. I pushed through doubt. And in 2022, when the results were released, I made history. I wasn't just a head girl—I was a head girl with six points.

For so long, the word "girl" had been used to reduce me. But I reclaimed it. To me, GIRL now means Great, Intelligent, Relevant, and Limitless. I am not less than. I never was.

In 2021, I founded She is Girl—a foundation that supports girls' mental health and self-worth, especially those who've been told they're "less than." Because the truth is: it's not just the lack of opportunities that hold us back—it's the words. The ones that make you feel like you'll never be enough. The ones that get into your head and stay there.

I've chosen to study law—not because it's easy, but because it's necessary. I want to know my rights. I want to understand the laws that govern me and the girls I advocate for. No one should ever step on my feet—at least not without me knowing exactly which law they're breaking when they do. I want to practice international law and human rights because I'm tired of seeing girls uninformed, uninterested, and unbothered—not because they don't care, but because they've been conditioned to think they shouldn't. Their mental state has been worn down by years of being told they are nothing. And now they've made peace with their pain. I couldn't make peace with mine.

Even in the church—the one place I was told to find hope—I never saw a female pastor. People say, "It's just the order of things." But is it really? As a Christian and a future lawyer, I've learned to respect other people's views. But I also know this: the longest recorded conversation Jesus ever had was with a woman. A Samaritan woman. He didn't preach at her—He asked her questions.He listened. He gave her dignity. That's the Jesus I know. And that's the woman I want to be—heard, seen, and valued.

Sometimes, I still think about my mother's words. They hurt. Not just because they came from her, but because I know they came from her pain. It's a cycle of inherited hopelessness. She didn't know any better, and maybe no one ever told her she was worth it. I forgive her. But I will not repeat her story.

There was a time I even told myself I wouldn't get married, wouldn't have children. Not out of anger—but out of fear. Because I didn't want to pass down the very pain I was trying to heal from. But healing is a process. I am still becoming. And I believe God is the lifter of everything—He does not discriminate. He does not call me "just a girl." He calls me chosen.

To every young woman reading this: Do not let anyone dim your light. Your words have power. Your choices matter. Your dreams are valid. Let what you become be your decision—not their expectation. Because you're not just a girl. You're GIRL: Great. Intelligent. Relevant. Limitless.